Regalia Realms Roleplay Sanctum

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 Post subject: Mahou Shoujo Pidora-chan (魔法少女ピドラちゃん)
PostPosted: Mon Jul 23, 2012 7:45 pm 

Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:23 am
Posts: 71
OP - ヤンキーじゃない








OP - Yankii Janai!

Akai sora o miteiru
Kumo ga hakobu kouki o kaideiru
Kyou fukai ni hajimatta
Heya ni kumo ga ita

Bouken e hata o hakondeiru
Akai ishou to nanika takurandeiru
Demo, warukunai koto da wa
Sore o baibai suru-n da

Machi no kono atari no eiyuu wa
Pidora-chan da
Ayashiku furumau na
Tasuke ni koi!

Cheenji! Cheenji! Pawaa appu!
Chaaji! Chaaji! Kougeki o chaaji shiro!

Aa! Aa! Atashi mo shitai yo!
Waa! Waa! Kanboku no naka ni hentai iru wa!
Gaa! Gaa! Sono futari noumaru na hito deshou!
Gan'yaku kara chikara o morau kedo, yankii ja nai!

Nan deshou...
Mata konshuu no jikan da!
Ichiban no mahou shoujo da!

Last edited by Herzblut on Mon Jan 23, 2017 6:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 Post subject: 第一話「新しい英雄、登場!?」
PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:58 pm 

Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:23 am
Posts: 71
It was a stormy night. Lightning flashed and a savage wind roared among the black swirling clouds surrounding the flying fortress where Rwocca had summoned her minions to deal the first strike against the infidels who dared oppose her view of a perfect world.

"The time has come... gentlemen...," Rwocca softly spoke as she played with her perfectly smooth dark blue hair.

Three people, obscured by the low light of the room, knelt before her, inside the regal room where they all were gathered. From the looks of it, it was a throne room, complete with a long red carpet leading to the ivory throne where the master of the flying fortress was sitting down. In fact, the room resembled that of a royal court, with upper floors overlooking the throne.


"We must not allow 'Shadow' to give them his power. Spider, I will give you permission to make your first move."

Lightning flashed through the massive windows behind the throne room, allowing for Spider's features to be seen. His face was that of seriousness and utmost confidence, fully knowing there was nothing stopping him from carrying out his master's wishes. He had a bang blocking his left eye, leaving a black right iris to stare at Rwocca.

"As you wish, my lord."


Tokimushi Kuromizu stared blankly at the window besides her in the classroom. She seemed to pay no attention to the math class, after all, she realized it would probably be over at any moment and the teacher did not care about asking people questions.

'It seems like a long time ago...'

Although Kuromizu was a normal schoolgirl with her own problems, months ago she was fighting to save the universe under the name Pidora-chan. Her mind drifted away as she, with a rainbow-sparkling dress used up all of her energy to create a giant ball of flames to scorch her then-enemy, taking the shape of a three-headed dark dragon, with ten wings keeping it in the air. Such attempt to destroy the beast was successful, if only at the cost of her superheroine life.

Those days were gone forever, and she knew nothing could be done. Sighing yet again, she lazily stared at the teacher.


However, Hetsu Burrito had other plans. Whereas Kuromizu accepted she could no longer fight evil and crime, Hetsu (the one responsible for starting her into the superheroine business) was looking for new ways to bring back Kuromizu's lost power. Heaven knew if more wrongdoers sprang up and caused havoc around their humble Japanese town.

Luckily for him, one of his close contacts had given him what he needed: a set of experimental pills, which could be useful to harness one's hidden power and avoid Kuromizu/Pidora-chan from being labeled as a "has-been". However, Kuromizu was not there to help due to being busy with homework, and Hetsu had a desire to see what this new set could do. What was worse, his "guinea pig" (called "The Fallen Angle") was out there drinking at some lowlife bar.

He was locked in his room, with little to no ventilation, a computer in a corner and a messy bed where the pill box was, labeled 'from the land down under.' It was also 7:00 PM, the sun was setting, and Hetsu could not wait another day.

"Let's see what those pills can do. They come straight from Hell, so they must work wonders."

Tasting the first pill yielded no result. Hetsu was so impatient that he used his own saliva to swallow it. He did not like the feeling of being choked by a mysterious pill from the seventh circle of Hell, but someone had to do it. One pill after the other, Hetsu realized even he was having something change in him, even though he was not as gifted as Kuromizu was.

One more pill (colored gray and blue) was the catalyst for what would be a crazy night for the young Hetsu.

His pupils dilated and he started gaining more muscle mass, as if he had exercised and weight-lifted for many years. He looked up at the chair besides him, seized a Mexican Wrestling Mask, put it on and muttered in a nigh incomprehensible language:

"Llegó el tiempo."

In the background, as Hetsu revealed his new physique, Spanish guitars played. He had a sleeveless shirt with the word "LUCHA" emblazoned on it, a cape that did not flow with the wind for now, as he was in an enclosed room such as that of a "researcher"'s. Tight trousers with flame patterns were now on his legs, and boots enabling quick movement adorned his feet.



Quien sera
Quien sera
Taco no!

Luchador de bien
Justicia maxima
Luchador de bien
Niño Hetsu!

*Mexican trumpet interlude*

Cuando mal acerca
Hetsu ataca
Hetsu Taco? NO!
Hetsu El Niño!

As the Mexican guitars and bodiless voices sung about Hetsu's future glories in the background, he set off into the night. He walked down the stairs running and dashed across the living room, where his sister June and a friend of hers (affectionately nicknamed "Kuwagirl") watched TV.

"Where are you going, aniki?" June did not turn around to watch what her brother had become. She kept watching the soap opera as she asked.

"To fight against injustice... el sangre rojo...," Hetsu muttered as he stopped in front of the house's main door, ready to fight wrongdoers in the absence of Pidora-chan.

Kuwagirl was used to June's brother's crazy antics at this point. He pulled crazy things with her friend Kuromizu and already made weird noises when she came over to visit June. However, turning around from the sofa she was made her open her eyes in disbelief at watching Hetsu dressed comically like a Mexican Wrestler.

"Voy a pelear. Por máxima justicia!" Hetsu screamed triumphantly, as he slammed the door.

Awkward silence ensured in the living room, where both girls kept watching the soap opera. After a minute, Kuwagirl decided to break the silence without making eye contact, as she was sure June would not take her eyes off the TV screen.

"May I borrow your camera for a while?" Kuwagirl asked.

"Are you going to finish your documentary on beetles?" June replied, not bothering to stare at Kuwagirl.

"...Wrestling Beetles...," Kuwagirl said.


Hetsu ran through the streets of his town, moving from his humble neighborhood to where massive buildings were. Many salarymen passed besides him, not seeming worried that a pumped-up Luchador was sprinting through the streets. After all, it was just another day in Japan.

Right behind Hetsu, huffing and puffing, was Kuwagirl with a camera she allegedly borrowed from June. She was nimble enough to be at a distance behind him, not minding how much tiring it was to go through crowded streets in pursuit of a man with a mask. In fact, this was what made passer-bys think it was a TV show being recorded. To Kuwagirl's annoyance, the heroic fanfare of Spanish guitars and Mexican mariachi groups of Hetsu blared in the background, leading her to wonder if the masked Hetsu was responsible for this madness.

The chase went on and on, Kuwagirl making sure her camera captured the running man well. From the big city, they went downtown, to where Hetsu randomly climbed up tubing up to a very very high storied building's rooftop.

"Why don't you use the elevator like any person with a brain, Mr. Taco?"

"I am not an octopus, but a kite."

Hetsu climbed the tubing until he got to a window, going up and up like some deranged burglar. Kuwagirl sighed and ran off to inside the building.

At the exact same time, a tall, lanky man got out of one of the bars. He had glasses on, as well as signs of not having shaved in months and messy hair, and on top of it, he seemed to have drunk enough sake for one night. He stopped in his tracks to watch a familiar figure climbing a tall building in front of him... dressed as a Mexican Wrestler. He stared at the bottle he had on his hand, back at the climbing Hetsu and walked back into the bar, not sure whether to attribute this as an hallucination or not.

Kuwagirl took the elevator, picking the top floor by logic. She did not turn off the camera in order to make sure she commented on the inanity of the whole situation. As the elevator opened, she sprinted outside, opened the door and found the Luchador standing alone in silence in the rooftop. It was dark and windy, as evidenced by his cape moving.

"Why are you such a deviant?" Kuwagirl asked, pointing her camera at Hetsu, making sure the nocturne vision was enabled.

"Shh, niña! The enemy is close by..."

More guitars played dramatically in the background, but Kuwagirl was getting used to it at this point.

"And... here he is!!!!" Hetsu screamed while turning around to the left to notice the one he has been looking for.

A man with a long bang on his left eye sat there drinking tea, but the wind made it hard for him to drink properly as the bang was in the way and some tea spilled a bit. Surrounding him were six young men with masks of angels on their faces. They seemed to wear clothing exposing their chests and arms, while maintaining a sense of feminity.

"You have arrived, I see...," the figure said as he took a sip of tea, "Unfortunately for you, fate has other plans. You and your little friend there..."

Kuwagirl turned the camera and zoomed on him, taking note of how hard it is to drink tea casually on a rooftop, as some stains were on Spider's uniform.

"La justicia triunfar. Ven hacia yo," Hetsu challenged the enemy.

"Oh? Seems you are a bit impatient... unfortunately, your blood is too dirty for me to touch it. Where are my manners? I am Lord Spider, Rwocca-sama's finest soldier and Captain of the Pure Body Army. Now, my nameless opponent..."


"...sigh, turn-taking is not in your thick brain. Well then, slaughter him, my minions!" Spider exclaimed, not dropping his tea as he did.

Hetsu's theme played again, and Kuwagirl noticed Spider wasn't paying attention to it, leading her to believe it was some sort of earworm refusing to leave her brain. As the theme blared out, Hetsu picked a wedge and smacked many of the fighters in a sequence Kuwagirl started describing as "not as exciting as seen on TV". In a short while, all fighters were down in the ground, eerily seeming clean and pretty even when down.

"Ahora it's you and me...," Hetsu said as a lone guitar played dramatically in the background, "...amigo."

Spider seemed confident he could take this heathen on his own. He dropped his tea, letting the wind take it wherever it wanted to and posed dramatically, making Kuwagirl have a visible teardrop on her head, wondering if he was being serious with the way he confronted someone who made short work of his minions. Spider started assuming even more poses, as if he prepared a special attack.

"They say that the Devil is the symbol of evil... and they say the Gods show their rage with storms... I, Spider of the Pure Bodies, was born when the Devil and G..."

Spider's sentence was cut short by a single punch on his gut, courtesy of a shut-in who decided to be a Mexican Wrestler for one night. He lost his breath and fell to the ground, twitching around like a spider slammed down by a newspaper, true to his epithet.

"Show me your moves, Araña!" Hetsu said, staring at the felled enemy.

'...That was just a normal punch...," Kuwagirl thought.

Before Spider could recover and counter, Hetsu threw himself on top of him and headlocked him. In just a couple of moves, Spider went from being the fearless Captain of the Pure Body Army to being a bullying target by someone who almost never left his room.


"This is just sad...," Kuwagirl commented, "Hey! Pose for the camera!"


She remained watching intently while Spider screamed in the background, and she KNEW Hetsu was doing things that couldn't be shown at normal TV hours. She predicted this would get many hits on her U-Too channel, if only to see what was happening in front of her very eyes.

"You shall not use your currency to fund your evil projects, villain!" Hetsu stated, as he took Spider's wallet as spoils of war.

"Damn right this is bullying," Kuwagirl grinned.

However, her entertainment was cut short, as Hetsu stopped dramatically, turned his head around, stood up and pointed with his finger at a corner of the rooftop arena.

"My sentido vengador de máscara is tingling...! It's you!"

Kuwagirl for a while thought he was having a wild hallucination, but it turned out a new challenger appeared.

It was Rwocca. Her deep blue long hair flowed with the wind, and she was a beauty to behold in the still of the night, to Kuwagirl's own admission.

"Mysterious wrestler... I commend you for your fighting style... not bad at all...," Rwocca commended Hetsu for his good job at beating a Captain of hers into submission, but that also meant another different thing for Spider...

"As for you, you have deeply disappointed me. It seems I was too nice with you," Rwocca smiled at Spider, whose face was that of confusion and almost tearing up in anger like a baby whose candy was stolen. Hetsu had taken everything away from him, he had lost face and to top it off, he stole his money while headlocking him previously. Rwocca was now a mother taking him home like a child who just got beaten up at school.

"I have to seriously talk to you..."

Rwocca picked up a badly beaten up Spider and left with him the same way they both arrived: by vanishing into thin air, but this time with a storm of petals.

After the hectic battle, Hetsu stared into the horizon while the wind blew, making his cape flow.

"A battle is over for now... but... the war lingers on..."

"By the way, do you have anyone to dedicate this victory to?" Kuwagirl kept recording.

"To the purple leprechauns supporting me and to my partner in..."

Suddenly, Hetsu lost muscle mass and he felt cold all over. As he came back to his senses, he realized he was dressed up like a Mexican wrestler on a rooftop at almost midnight, with the worst possible person recording him. He knew he was going to make it into the Internet, become a new meme or whatever, but at least he remained anonymous with the mask, one could hope.

"Kuwa, where the heck are we...? By the way, could you give me your jacket? It's a bit emb..."

"Yeah, sure. You go it alone, creep," she turned off the camera and left, smirking at a video that would draw viewers in, due to violence, graphic things and most of all bullying.

"...Never doing it again."


Kuromizu and June were at Kuwagirl's house, the former seeming to have finally let go of the past. They were drinking tea and talking among themselves in the absence of Kuwagirl, who had gone to her room to get something for them.

"Your laptop?" Kuromizu asked once Kuwagirl returned.

"Read it and weep," Kuwagirl answered as she turned her laptop and played a video that was on a video hosting website. The entire Luchador incident gathered hundreds of thousands of views in a bit more than one day and this mysterious character was all over the internet as a minor meme.

"What in the world...," Kuromizu asked as she kept watching the Luchador beat Spider into submission.

"I think, that this person looks familiar to me," June said, oblivious that it was her brother the one being recorded.

"Of course he is! That's Hetsu!" Kuromizu laughed, feeling she was running out of air.

"Nooooooo! He isn't!" June strongly denied her brother ever left his room.

Kuwagirl remained in silence as the video played to its thrilling conclusion, when the pills wore off. However, just as it was over, Kuromizu sensed her mobile phone ringing, to which she replied. A familiar voice greeted her...

"Hi! I have the key to recovering your powers."

Last edited by Herzblut on Wed Jan 25, 2017 7:01 pm, edited 6 times in total.

 Post subject: 第二話「白熱英雄、奇跡的な再生!?」
PostPosted: Tue Dec 09, 2014 7:11 am 

Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:23 am
Posts: 71
A wave crashed on the rocks directly below Rwocca's flying fortress. It was daytime, but the storm made the once calm ocean a darkened, dangerous territory for anyone daring to sail across the seas. In the midst of the rumbling sounds of thunder, the castle kept moving in a straight line, with no set direction.

The powerful rain made its distinct noise on Rwocca's throne room. There, she sat down on her ivory throne, heavily resembling a man's muscular chest, looking down on her crestfallen servant.

"You have disgraced us, Spider," Rwocca sternly told off her subordinate, still with tears in his eyes over the humiliation that masked Mexican wrestler dealt to him, "I am no longer sure whether you are fit to keep leading the Pure Body Army..."

Rwocca's words stung. Spider tried to contain the need to talk back to her, but he was unable to. Seething with anger, he gnashed his teeth. His leader walked down, giving him a new wallet. The look of shame in her face was something that would remain in his mind for days to come.


In spite of that, however, Spider found the courage to speak:

"As you wish my Lord, I am sure your decision will be for the best. I look forward to meeting my new lead-"

"WhouPp dudo hT''axas anw23e23ee!4232"

He slowly turned around his head, with a look of sheer horror in his eyes. He saw his new leader in disbelief as sweat trickled down his face.

Spider could barely contain the need to scream 'no' out loud.









Kuromizu Tokimushi slammed Hetsu's door open, startling the teenager inside his messy room. She had come running from Kuwagirl's house to see what was up. Perhaps this time she could be able to return to her former heroine life.

"So...," Kuromizu wanted to know what was Hetsu's brilliant plan this time, although she seemed rather wary about it all.

"As I told you...," Hetsu cleared his throat, "...I have found a way to recover your powers. It is simple enough, you just need to swallow the red capsule contained in that box over there..."

Hetsu pointed to a suspicious looking container, which by then made Kuromizu raise an eyebrow in disbelief.

"...Pills are from 'down under?'," Pidora asked while noticing that some of the capsules contained within the kit were missing. It did not take more than a minute for her to realize exactly what made Hetsu acquire muscle mass and clown around the streets of their Japanese town.

Turning around, Pidora said to Hetsu: "Sorry, but I have better things to do than becoming fodder for trippr GIFs."

A bewildered Hetsu wanted to know what she was referring to with that comment, but Pidora walked away from the room, deciding not to take part in her friend's strange experiments.

"Not that it matters, anyway...," Pidora kept speaking to herself as she made her way to the household's front door, "...there is no real threat nowadays. They don't need me, they don't..."

"...Are you Kuromizu?"

As she exited Hetsu's house, she bumped into an individual she would have described as 'very, very odd.' He seemed to be a cosplayer who dyed his hair red, wore crimson contact lenses and a cross necklace. He had a leather black coat and gloves alongside some black cargo pants and combat boots. The worst part was that he was brandishing a katana with his right hand, in the light of day.


Kuromizu knew better not to say stupid things in front of a person who might as well have a few screws loose and could test his sword on her.

"Umm, no! You are in the wrong neighborhood, Kuromizu lives in the next town!" Kuromizu profusely sweat as she hoped she could direct this stranger somewhere else.

Fortunately, it worked, as the cosplayer nodded and walked away to somewhere else.

As Kuromizu sighed, thanking the heavens nothing serious happened to her, Hetsu's head popped out of his window, screaming with tears in his eyes (due to him not being used to sunlight):


This was enough for the cosplayer to turn around and face Kuromizu. Kuromizu gulped and screamed, running out of sight with her hands in the air.

"My master will pay me lots of money if I slay you. Come here and battle me!" the cosplayer revealed his actual job to Kuromizu, as he swung his katana indiscriminately while running.

A long chase scene across town ensued as Kuromizu ran for her life from a psychopath who Kuwagirl would probably tell off for 'running with scissors, or at least a samurai sword.' She mentally cursed Hetsu for putting her life at risk, though it was not surprising for her at this point.

Eventually, she fell down panting just in front of Hetsu's house, and so did the mercenary, dropping his katana to the ground as he was tired too.

"If I... If I had my strength back... I would fight you! Give me some days and I will beat your ass," Kuromizu tried to speak as she was huffing and puffing.

However, this would prove to be a brilliant idea, as the mercenary picked his blade and grinned: "It goes against my mercenary honor to battle a weakling, so let's do this..."

He extended his free hand to show five raised fingers.

"I will give you five days to recover your powers. I will be waiting for you at the football field there...," the mercenary pointed to the stadium right across the street they were, "Do not be late, or I will have no mercy..."

The mercenary walked away, leaving Kuromizu panting on the ground.

Growling, Kuromizu stood up, ready to go to inside Hetsu's house and snap his neck, but she was interrupted by a noise of heavy breathing close by, a noise she was all too familiar with.

"Angle? What do you want?"

She turned around to inspect her friend. Standing at six feet, the Fallen Angle was a teenager with messy hair and a permanent stubble due to him not bothering to shave at all. He had earned his dubious nickname for his tendency to trip and fall down only to get the perfect angle to view up women's skirts. Detested by Kuwagirl, considered a good friend/guinea pig by Hetsu Burrito, the Fallen Angle was the so-called 'lovable pervert' of the group.

"I came right away when I smel-," Angle caught his breath as he too seemed tired by the summer heat, "Err... as I heard about your predicament."

Clearing his throat some more, as Kuromizu crossed her arms wondering what was up, Angle resumed:

"If you want to avoid taking many questionable pills, as I have, there is another way. In my years fiddling with such things by myself, I discovered something. A secret, special technique, you see..."

Kuromizu was interested in what he had to say, she did not want to take anything from Hetsu at the moment.

"By means of hard, intense training, one can use my special secret as a means of stimulating one's chakras. Only through blood, sweat and tears- well, mostly sweat, I guess- can this feat be achieved..."

Hetsu Burrito immediately slammed his front door open, it being the first time in months since he left his home... well, first time in a single day if one were to include his wrestling evening from the previous day. He pointed a finger at Angle dramatically, while itching in pain due to the heavy summer sunlight searing his eyesight and roasting his skin.

"Hold your horses! Kuromizu, Angle's training is a sham! Just take the red pill and we'll be over with this charade!"

"Don't belittle the special training of the Angle School, my friend! By practicing hard by myself, I can safely say my chakras are very stimulated indeed!" Angle retorted, speaking with his most prideful tone of voice possible, hoping to have Kuromizu accept his 'training.'

However, Kuromizu was not buying Hetsu's argument. She still had a grudge against her friend for almost killing her by telling her on the mercenary. Angle was a deviant, and she knew from the get-go this entire training would probably involve a fetish of his. But still, something inside her -her instinct maybe- told her this was the best way to get physically ready for the fight, at least for running away from the mercenary battle in the following five days.

"Well, Angle, we can get started tomorrow?" Kuromizu asked her friend, making Hetsu's jaw drop to the ground in sheer bafflement.

"Yes, see you tomorrow at the track field... Oh, by the way, I wouldn't dare abuse such an important situation as this for my own personal gratification, trust me," Angle said to Kuromizu self-assuredly, not liking him having to explain his methods and intentions.

Kuromizu was not entirely convinced by his wording, but she sighed, heading on home.

'I can't believe these guys...,' Hetsu facepalmed, if only to block out the sunlight entering through his eyes.


The red-haired soldier of fortune walked through a hall inside Rwocca's flying fortress. As lightning crashed in the outside world, shown as flashes through the windows, he walked towards his commander's room. There, his commander -obscured by shadows- toyed around with what seemed to be toy robots. He knew it: his master was busy with them and thus he could leave early.

"Mercenary Lunarclaw reporting. I let the target live for a few more days."

"kl lorehiu !iy34yur34," his boss replied, his speech pattern sounding much like a modem would.

"Yes, I accept you cutting my pay to fund your fighting machines."

"very cool"



Kuromizu was wearing a blue tracksuit as Angle made her run around in circles in the track field. The blistering summer heat was harsh on her, but she was sure she could manage for today. Angle insisted however that she not wash her tracksuit nor socks so that the 'chakras could line up properly and help her return her powers.'

Sighing, she kept on running, all while Angle kept checking on her from the bleachers...


Kuromizu panted as she repeated the exact same exercises as the previous day. She felt somewhat dizzy, but nothing out of her league. She noticed she was at least running a bit faster so that she could outrun the mercenary in the final day, although the whole thing smelled of Angle getting aroused by something, but she could not tell what exactly.

Meanwhile, Angle smelled in the air as Kuromizu passed him by: "I love the smell of 40 degrees Celsius!"


As Kuromizu kept on her routine, Kuwagirl was sitting in the shadow of the bleachers alongside June. The latter had a paper fan in hand, keeping both her and her friend fresh in the midst of a rather unbearable summer. Kuwagirl kept drinking the bottle of water, pondering whether she should intervene as this was obviously an attempt by Angle to get a very sweaty tracksuit for whatever purpose.


Not that she wanted to know anyway.

Still, the temperature was too high for her to call out Angle on it and intervene. She remained sitting down instead of making an effort and kept drinking from her bottle.


"Run! Harder! One more day left!" Angle shouted through the megaphone as Kuromizu kept on doing one more lap in the track. At this point, she was sick and tired - not only the smell of her tracksuit reeked to her, making it hard for her not to stop and throw up, but Angle was becoming more annoying with his pep talks. The next day, the mercenary would behead her and no amount of running could save her: she wasted four days with this stupidity. Even taking Hetsu's red capsule from Hell would be a much better solution.

She knew it: this had to stop, and so she stopped running dead on her tracks.

"What's wrong? Don't stop now! Your chakras are aligning alright, I can smell-"

"I quit, Angle!" Kuromizu screamed at him from his not-so-fallen spot, "Take this stinking sweatsuit if you want to, I have much better things to do with my time!"

A few banters later, Angle was left with a bleeding nose and Kuromizu's used tracksuit in his arms.

"So wanna do it instead?" he turned around to June and Kuwagirl, the latter doing her best to show him her most demeaning sneer, feeling no need to say anything to him.


The Fallen Angle was running around the track field, wearing Kuromizu's used, sweaty tracksuit.


Kuromizu walked up to the stadium, taking a deep breath. Mercenary Lunarclaw stood there, katana in hand, licking his lips as he expected it to become a battle of a lifetime if his superiors placed such a bounty on her head.

"You go Kuromizu!" June screamed at her from the upper seats. June was sitting besides Kuwagirl as she held a screen showing Hetsu's face. He gave a nod to Kuromizu from his webcam's live feed, as she nodded back and faced the mercenary.

"Here goes nothing!"


The previous day, Kuromizu met up with Hetsu. After talking for a bit, and admitting Hetsu was right after all in a begrudging manner, Kuromizu accepted she would take the red capsule right before the mercenary battle so that her powers could come back stronger than ever and defeat him effortlessly.

"Take this with you," Hetsu said as he gave her a round, red-colored pill with design of a flame in it, "I am sure you know what this will do, but let me explain regardless. This is the Flame Pill, which will enable you to perform flame-based attacks such as breathing fire, covering your arms in fire and control flames. However, be careful: its side-effect will leave a burning sensation in your mouth."


Thus, Kuromizu popped the red capsule from Hell and put it in her mouth, getting ready for the surge of power...

However, nothing happened at all.

The placebo was successful in casting the stadium into deep silence. Mercenary Lunarclaw grinned yet again: "What? Are you done yet?"

"Well, I... I think this was a bad idea... Damn you, Hetsu!" Kuromizu screeched as she once again started running in circles. This time she had the entire football stadium to repeat Angle's silly training, yet this particular day was still as blistering hot as the others, meaning she was somewhat used to running this way, but she would not last this way forever. Luckily, the mercenary went behind her in circles instead of going the other way around or using a technique to catch her.

"Oh no! Kuromizu is in trouble! What should we do?" June asked nervously, staring at her brother's face through the screen and back at Kuwa.

"This is odd! This is supposed to trigger her powers immediately!" Hetsu defended himself, getting worried about him being in the wrong this time.

"This pill's even worse than your last one, this isn't even that funny," Kuwagirl scoffed, "This is just sad and a little bit worrying."

"No way!" Hetsu frantically started looking through the manual that came with the capsules, looking for possible troubleshooting sections, "Shadow is a very reliable friend, something must be wrong here..."

"Clearly he's not, that pill of yours isn't even making her run faster! You guys are all useless, isn't there anything else you can do?" Kuwagirl countered, somewhat concerned about Kuromizu not making it out of the arena.

Kuromizu kept running in circles, and sooner than later she started to sweat once again. Right before she screamed one more time at Hetsu and a Fallen Angle who was a distance away, a golden aura surrounded her, temporarily blinding and stopping Mercenary Lunarclaw in his tracks.

"What in the world?" Kuromizu asked as she looked at her hands, she could feel power surging through her very being.

Kuwagirl had a look of confusion in her face, trying to understand just what was going on.

"Eureka!" Hetsu Burrito exclaimed triumphantly, "Pay attention to this page: 'As this capsule was made in the hottest region on Earth, it reacts at best in extreme heat. In order for someone's powers to be completely reactivated, their inner chakras must be perfectly aligned and their bodies must generate their own aura cover, usually through sweating profusely for several days prior to taking the pill.'"

"This has got to be a joke," Kuwagirl tried to understand the stupidity of the situation - this meant the Fallen Angle did just the right thing to help Kuromizu.

"Of course I was right," the Fallen Angle appeared out of thin air, standing besides Kuwagirl, almost startling her as she did not see him coming into the stadium (considering its gates were locked from the inside). He was still wearing Kuromizu's used tracksuit, and he pushed his steamy glasses further up his nose, "I always speak through experience."

'Not... really in the position to say this...,' Hetsu thought for a while before paying attention to what his monitor was showing: Kuromizu was surrounded by the golden aura.

This sensation was not new at all to Kuromizu, she knew the Hell Pill had worked, and most of all, she understood it was time to strike back.


A group of petal-like shapes appeared in the air behind Kuromizu, spinning rapidly as her golden aura surrounded her body. The petals stopped spinning and folded down over her, forming a cocoon.

The red cocoon started glowing brighter and brighter until Kuromizu appeared out of it. She was clad in a red dress, whose long sleeves ended with two white gloves on her hands. Her legs were covered by white stockings and a pair of knee-length black boots.

The remains of the cocoon started levitating slowly and fused together, transforming into a red hat. Kuromizu caught the hat and put it on her head, matching her now red eyes and complimenting her dark hair, placed in pigtails.

Kuromizu had successfully transformed into Magical Girl Pidora. Her red dress shined in the midst of the hot summer day, and her golden aura added to that effect of her being a beacon of light. Before Lunarclaw could attack, she took out the Flame Pill from her pocket and put it in her mouth.

"Flame Pill! Pyro Burst!" she screamed as her hands became covered in flames. She shot jets of flames towards Lunarclaw, who cut through them with his blade, now having a psychotic smirk on his face as he rushed towards Pidora.

Pidora jumped high above, covered in flames, before falling down into Lunarclaw, aiming using her legs to hit her enemy and do some damage. Her attack worked, but Lunarclaw countered by swinging his katana against her. His swings were done with such strength that crescent-shaped sonic slashes were created, successfully hitting Pidora and cutting her.

She stood up quickly, barely feeling pain. She started spinning, all while calling out her attack: she performed 'Searing Tornado' by creating a spiral-shaped fire attack which she hoped would envelope her foe and bring him down.

Lunarclaw, however, dodged the attack and started screaming while powering up. Knowing not to waste much time, Pidora concentrated her strength into one final attack. She placed both of her hands in front of her, creating a small fireball in them; next, she added more of her powers into it, making it grow exponentially in size. The heat was such that it could even be sensed from the bleachers.

"Eat this! Ultimate Corona!" Pidora screamed right as she jumped high again and threw the fireball, by then as strong as a miniature solar flame, towards Lunarclaw, who braced himself for the attack, not letting go of his katana. The attack proved to be very powerful, surrounding the mercenary and burning him to a crisp, screaming as the attack connected.

Mercenary Lunarclaw fell down burning and an explosion ensued from where he lay, all while Pidora made sure to turn around and pose as the event took place.


“You did it!” June hugged an untransformed Kuromizu, panting from the entire ordeal.

“Nice for you to have your power back, although the attack names are just...,” Kuwagirl commented as she approached Kuromizu alongside the others. While she did not like Angle's kinks being the solution to this, she was glad nobody -except for the mercenary- got hurt.

“What's wrong, Kuromizu?” Hetsu asked from the tablet held in a proud Angle's hands, “You have been awfully quiet.”

Kuromizu pointed at her tongue, she was unable to form complete sentences since it was itching due to the Fire Pill's side-effect.

“Your tongue's bad? Don't worry, you can always drink some milk to help it heal,” Angle put his two cents in, prompting everyone else (including Kuromizu) telling him to shut up due to his history of making distasteful jokes towards his friends. In his defense, he argued this was the actual way of helping a burnt-out tongue.

“No, it isn't, she should probably drink lots of water instead,” Hetsu commented through the screen as the group walked away.

“No! Just let her rest, she will be fine then,” June commented, going away through the door with the others, leaving behind the mercenary's charred, smoldering remains in the stadium.


 Post subject: 第三話「英雄を殺そうとする悪魔、浮上!?」
PostPosted: Sun May 07, 2017 3:40 pm 

Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:23 am
Posts: 71
Rwocca's fortress kept gliding over the treacherous seas below. The storm had no end in sight, yet the structure kept moving against the powerful cyclones swirling around it.

However, the storm in the outside world would be small compared to the storm that was going to take place within the walls of Rwocca's mobile palace.

With a huff and a puff, Spider kept pushing the cart carrying a set of ashes. There were a few bones in the charred remains, thus making Spider put in extra effort to carry the contents to the Pure Body Army Headquarters. As he did so, Spider's face was a mix of concern over Rwocca's anxiety about a certain 'Shadow' individual providing pills to a mysterious person and seething inner rage; the latter case was due to what he knew was going to happen once he was face to face with his new commander.

Spider did not knock on the door leading to his former room, instead opening it abruptly and pushing the cart towards his boss. The room was pitch black and Spider could only make sure he did not trip over dangerous terrain thanks to the occasional lightning flash. He kept going in a straight line until he reached his goal.

"Commander, Spider reporting," Spider tried to repress his desire of sighing, but it was a matter of getting used to the situation, "I have retrieved Mercenary Lunarclaw's corpse."

The commander of the Pure Body Army did not turn around. The shadowy figure, still hunched over, kept fiddling with the figurines dropped around the room. He did not seem to be paying attention to his subordinate, but Spider insisted on continuing his report.

"It is indeed concerning that one of the division's mercenaries was incinerated just like that. Curiously enough, the grass of the location where I had retrieved the ashes did not present any signs of damage, nothing burned at all... It is as if the one who ended him bore an amazing power."

"gtegergw!!! ieufuierfuer erreryeyereu!!!e3 2223333ghhh," the shadowy figure replied in its odd language, making Spider raise his head.

"What do you mean?"

"eruihuhu!!!! hueuueueui !!!!HERUWEC eyeryyryeerryfeGRYWCGYGRWERYRWY!!!!!1123344454887kdue"

Spider once again managed to hide his indignation, but kept his calm. The trick was to imagine himself drinking tea on a windy rooftop, observing the city below. It was a cool, calm and collected mental image of himself that got him through many a stressful situation.

"What do you mean 'your soda', sir?" Spider wondered, before relaying to his commander Rwocca's orders word-by-word: "Well, I repeat: the Commander is to avoid depleting our flying fortress's supply of drinking soda, so it is now hidden in Akite's password-locked chamber."

"not cool"

The silhouette abruptly threw a figurine towards Spider, hitting him in the forehead. Standing up and turning around, he lunged at a stunned Spider and nearly headlocked him (bringing yet another unpleasant experience to the demoted soldier's memory) while making his demands: "DSAMADS MESUD ME S DHER0H DYMSEREENDR MDSDWR0WDS AYD0WH N DEDA 0DDNS!"

Fortunately for Spider, it was easy to slip away from his boss's grip and stand back. He noticed the latter's rush knocked the cart down, making a mess of the room's floor. The ashes stained a few of the figurines the Pure Body Army Commander worked in, angering him further. This made his noises even more ear-splitting, and Spider was angry at what he was implying from his words.

"Oh no, I am not going to clean this whole mess you did. Enjoy your position while you can, you idiot. After all, I, the Great Spider will regain his position in Lord Rwocca's holy army and you will be licking my boots. You stupid imbecile will never boss me around, got it!?"

The sound of a throat being cleared made Spider turn around in terror for the second time that same week. The beautiful supreme lord of the fortress was crossing her arms as she watched Spider's entire rant. Her eyes locked with Spider's, as a very long and uncomfortable silence settled in (rain, thunder and angry modem noises notwithstanding).

"Commander of the Pure Body Army, you hereby have my permission to deduct Spider's pay due to disobedience and use it to fund your fighting machines."

"very cool"









"Come on, Hetsu! Leaving your room once in a while won't kill you, you know?" Kuromizu knocked on Hetsu's door for what might as well have been the umpteenth time, seeming impatient and just a little bit angry that her friend would not even open the door. Behind her were Hetsu's younger sister and Kuwagirl, the latter seeming to roll her eyes at this whole scene.

"Leave me alone!" Hetsu screamed from inside his room, "I have some research to do and very little time to do so. Besides, yes I can die from going out."

"He's got a point," Kuwagirl quipped, "the pasty little goblin's probably not seen the sun in years." This earned her a glare from Kuromizu, as she wasn't exactly helping.

"The bus will be leaving for the camp in forty minutes and there's no way we're leaving you here all by yourself. Knowing you, you couldn't even be bothered to order some pizza, let alone cook something," Kuromizu's patience was running out at this point already, wondering who Hetsu's and June's parents were, "Come on, it's just camping for one night, you need to get out some more. It won't be the same without you!"

"Aniki please," June raised her voice, "We're going out camping and I'm sure Kuwa will be happy to have you there!"

"I won't-," Kuwagirl quickly backpedaled and said with a fixed grin, "Oh of course! Please come!"

Finally, Hetsu opened the door to his room. His hair was a mess, he was only wearing his boxers and a vest and his overall state was that of someone who hadn't bothered to take care of his appearance for days. He stared at all three of them in silence. As stubborn as Hetsu was, anybody who spent more than an hour with him would know how easily swayed he was and how quickly he changed his mind with enough flattering (even though Kuwagirl didn't seem all too sincere in her request).

"You know," Hetsu sighed, "I'm happy about your enthusiasm and all, but this is really important, okay? You won't make me leave this house, no matter what you say!"


"I can't believe they made me leave my house," Hetsu Burrito grumbled as he was sitting on a bus already en route to the campsite. The bus was full of many other teenagers who went to class with Kuromizu and her friends, thus making it clear to him that it was a school camping trip and he was close to wondering why he was brought there in the first place. With arms crossed and a pout, he looked out the window beside him, away from a Kuromizu that was seated right next to him.

June and Kuwagirl were seated in the two seats to the right of Kuromizu and Hetsu, with the latter facing the window and the former already having fallen asleep. Kuwagirl would never outright admit it, but she valued June as her closest friend, hoping to protect her from anything and anyone, to the point of seeming too clingy. As such, it was no surprise that Kuwagirl was feeling very happy on the inside; unlike Hetsu, she did not look out, instead observing a sleeping June, somehow hoping she would fall to her side and lay her head on her shoulder. June seemed so peaceful, a sharp contrast to her bubbly, cheery disposition...

"No!" June shouted, scaring the living daylights out of Kuwagirl for a second. Watching her intently for so long made Kuwagirl forget that June was an occasional sleep talker.

"No, Kuromizu, that cake is mine," as June mumbled while sleeping, Kuwagirl's face went from being serene a while ago to outright concerned. Sure, June was dreaming and she wasn't controlling what she said, but she felt some sort of ill will towards Kuromizu that she couldn't explain. Kuwagirl somewhat hoped that she would be named sometime during the sleep talk or, hopefully during a sharp curve, that June would lay her head on her shoulder or hug her while asleep.

That moment, however, never came throughout the remaining minutes of the journey.

Meanwhile, Kuromizu was trying to cheer Hetsu up. Kuromizu knew that Hetsu didn't want to leave home, but she didn't want her friend to follow such an unhealthy lifestyle of being confined to his room. In reality, Hetsu had turned to such a routine as a consequence of Kuromizu losing her powers, but now that she's gotten them back, there was no further need for him to research day-in and day-out.

"We can't just leave it like this," Hetsu sighed when Kuromizu mentioned that, finally turning around to look at her, "That mercenary was sent after you for a reason we've yet to learn about, you know? What if you were to lose your powers again? I'm not sure you'd want to spend another five days sweating..."

"Uhh, I don't think so," Kuromizu replied, seeming like she would rather forget about that last bit, "But don't worry about it, Hetsu, if I were to somehow lose my powers, I know we can find another way to get them back."

"I'm not too sure... I'm sort of surprised that you got the hang of your powers after such a long time."

Kuromizu shrugged, "It feels like I've never forgotten about it. Still… the period I was without my powers and the pills was pretty boring and dull to me, like something inside me was no longer there."

"A withdrawal problem maybe?" Hetsu raised an eyebrow, to which Kuromizu seemed to stop to think about what to say.

"I still don't know," Kuromizu sighed, "I'm just worried there might be some additional side effects to battling with these tools. They're pills after all."

"Yeah," the Fallen Angle turned from the driver's seat, "Like you can't drive or operate heavy machinery if you get slipped some." He chuckled. "The things we do to get a job, am I right?"

Nobody else in the bus chuckled.


Once the bus was parked, every single student got down from it as did the Fallen Angle, dressed in a bus driver uniform that was definitely not his size. As the students began to leave, Angle cleared his throat and called everybody's attention.

"Wait, wait. I have to take roll call first."

Many of the students stared at each other in hesitation, unsure if the bus driver was actually meant to do that. Kuromizu's group, with the exception of a confused June, all facepalmed. Still, the bewildered class stood in front of Angle just to get it over with.

"Okay, girls first. Sound off!" Angle said a bit too gleefully as he took out a piece of paper.

"Jun 'June' Yamaguchi!" June gleefully shouted, seemingly oblivious to the overall mood, others followed: Kuromizu herself, a reluctant and growling Kuwa, a classmate of theirs named Niko Tanaka... As the girls said their names, Angle went through his list, ticking off name after name while grinning.

Once the last girl was accounted for, Angle nodded: "Right, we're done."

"...What about the boys?" a student asked.

Angle shrugged, threw the paper to be carried by the wind and walked off to the woods alone, leaving the others in front of the bus.

"Right," Hetsu sighed, already knowing that Angle was off to do something he'd rather not learn about, "We have to set up camp first. Who will…?"

"I'll go fetch some wood," Kuromizu interrupted Hetsu, if only to make the situation less awkward. She promptly turned around and was on her way to collect the materials to get a bonfire started. As she left, Hetsu remained with June, Kuwagirl and some other students that were still visibly concerned about them being possibly stranded out in the wilderness. One of the students even mentioned that she was going to call the police as Angle's get-up was far too shady for his own good.

Kuwagirl decided, on reflection, that while she wouldn't mind being stranded in the woods alone with June, the presence of Hetsu, the entire rest of their class, and a possible criminal lurking nearby made the situation into an overall negative.

"I'd say it's been nice knowing you all," she began, before an obnoxiously loud roaring noise cut through the air and rendered the rest of her quip inaudible.

The noise came from a bulky, angular humanoid shape hovering gently down through the air on some sort of jetpack. The jetpack had clearly been modified to make more noise and smoke than its small engines would allow, in keeping with the newcomer's flashy appearance- chunky white armor on his limbs with large, matching shoulderpads, accented with blue on his chest and red on his boots. The hilts of what looked like a pair of swords stood out from his backpack, and an ostentatious two-pronged crest adorned the brow of his helmet.

One of the male students just had time to look up and shout "It's a gun-" before being knocked over as the newcomer landed. There was no gun visible, however, so quite what he meant by this wasn't clear.

"I am Hero Killer! Launching to begin armed intervention!" he bellowed, both introducing himself and confusing his new audience even further.

"But why kill Hiro?" June asked, tilting her head to a side in an attempt to further understand Hero Killer's words, "What did Hiro do to you?"

"No," Hero Killer frowned, "I kill heroes."

Hero Killer's words fell on deaf ears, as June turned around to face her classmates, ignoring a long groan that arose from her brother: "Which of you did something to him!? Harassing grown men is bad, very bad!"

"June, there are no Hiros in our class," a male student said.

"Then why is he coming to get revenge?"

"Forget it, June!" the entire class said in unison.

With a visible sweatdrop on his head, the newcomer pulled the twin swords from his back, and said: "Never mind that. I have to maintain the peace of this world at all costs! Even if I have to destroy each and every one of you."

"That..." Kuwagirl massaged her temples, already very tired of this man. "That just straight up makes no sense, even if you are a Transformer or whatever."

"Now, where is Pidora!?" Hero Killer inquired once again, sounding angrier than before. Kuwagirl sniggered, glad that her insult worked.

A glitter of red light burst into view, as if in answer to Hero Killer's demands, spinning and resolving itself into a fetching red-and-black costume around the form of Kuromizu, now transformed into her alter ego, Magical Girl Pidora. The feather in her cap waved in the breeze as she tipped the brim up from her face, fixing the mercenary with a confident stare. "Somebody page me?"

Hero Killer pointed a saber accusingly at Kuromizu, the blade gleaming in the light. "Magical Girl Pidora! You have been identified as the source of conflict in this region. My mission is to eradicate you, for the good of peace and the elimination of-"

"Alright, alright, I get the idea. Less talk, more action." Pidora gestured to the trees packed tight around the campsite. "Why don't we take this somewhere more spacious?"

"Very well," Hero Killer started, rising into the air on a plume of smoke. He gestured east with his swords. "Follow me." With that, he set off across the treetops, Pidora following right on his heels.

Hetsu eyed June and Kuwagirl and nodded, leaving to follow Pidora and Hero Killer. Kuwagirl stood her ground with her arms folded, attempting to avoid getting caught up in shenanigans this time, only to notice that June had run off to follow Hetsu without question. Sighing, she checked the battery on her camera, and set off to join them.


Hero Killer touched down on a rocky overpass, an area with plenty of space to move and dodge that obviously favored his fighting style. Pidora felt more confident, however, when she heard the telltale sound of a river rushing past just below- a plan was already starting to form in her head.

Hero Killer handed down his judgement: "Pidora, for your transgressions against peace, I will put an end to you right now!" He focused his glare on Pidora, who just took out a pill from her pocket while grinning.

Hetsu, June and Kuwagirl got to the place running, albeit with some effort and exertion from Hetsu's behalf, who thought he was going to actually lose consciousness due to his then-sedentary lifestyle. His pasty white skin, acquired from spending over half a year indoors, was already showing the telltale signs of a sunburn that was only going to get worse. He stumbled onto the scene, panting heavily, and collapsing to his knees once he saw he'd finally caught up with Pidora.

Pidora took out a spherical cerulean pill from her pocket, and promptly swallowed it. A shimmer of blue light surrounded her arms as she waved them in a dance-like pattern, and called out "Water Pill! Aqua Spike!" The river off the edge of the battlefield turned more violent and a series of tendril-like waves leaped out into the battlefield to strike Hero Killer.

The watery tendrils slapped into the ground, doing little more than spraying Hero Killer's feet as he took to the air on a controlled burst from his jetpack. He scowled behind his battle mask, more wary now his opponent was proving dangerous. "I knew someone like you wouldn't fight honorably," he said through gritted teeth, and readied his blades. "I will destroy you now!"

Hero Killer zoomed in with his jetpack, crossing his blades to slash Pidora in an X-pattern. In the nick of time, she backflipped to evade and sent another set of waves of Aqua Needle towards Hero Killer. The mercenary flew higher still and once again crossed his blades, readying his killer move a second time.

"Oh no!" June gasped from the sidelines, "She isn't even hitting him!"

Kuwa clenched her fists, frustrated. "What's she thinking? All she's doing is splashing water around!"

"N-No... I think she has it... figured out by now," Hetsu said from the ground, still collapsed in a heap and panting heavily.

Pidora stared up nervously as Hero Killer darted in to attack, apparently helpless before the mercenary's move. This time, she was unable to evade and took the brunt of the blow, the blades biting deep into her body.

"Kuromizu!" June screamed, about to run to her wounded friend, but Hetsu grabbed her by the wrist, shaking his head. Kuwagirl glared at him, pondering that perhaps staying too long in his room had destroyed any sense of empathy he might have had.

Before Kuwa could open her mouth to say as much, Pidora's bifurcated body dissolved into water, splashing onto the ground with a wet slap. Hero Killer, just as surprised as June and Kuwa, stopped dead in place. Before the mercenary knew it, he felt a heavy blow to his back, an explosion crumpling part of his suit and knocking him flying to the edge of the treeline.

"Can't dodge now, can you?" Pidora stuck her tongue out, with her fists enclosed in a watery substance, "It only took a single Wave Blast punch too."

Of the three spectators, only Hetsu's expression showed no trace of surprise- though Kuwagirl was making a game attempt at a poker face- for the two girls had believed that Hero Killer had struck down their friend and won the battle. Hetsu, however, was better-versed in the Water Pill's secrets, and knew that one of its abilities was to create a realistic duplicate of the user from water. The Mirage Drift, as the technique was called, was used at the moment Pidora summoned the second set of Aqua Spikes, using the water already splashed around the area from Pidora's first attack. As the mercenary flew up high, the real Pidora jumped out of sight, ready to use Wave Blast to destroy Hero Killer's only means of movement.

"I-I can't believe this…" Hero Killer growled as he stood up. Ready to attack again, he attempted to trigger his jetpack, only to get a feeble cough of black smoke from the wrecked pack for his efforts. His heart skipped a beat as he nervously stared at Pidora, who crossed her arms and tapped her foot on the floor.

"Well, Hero Killer, it seems like this time..."
She tipped the brim of her hat down,
"... the Hero kills you."

"P-Please sto-" Hero Killer's pleas for mercy were cut short by more Aqua Spikes. Without his jetpack, Hero Killer's bulky armor prevented him dodging, and he took every single attack from the relentless barrage head-on. The ground was soon soaked in red... and some blue? Confused, Pidora stopped her attack, revealing a thoroughly sodden and much-diminished Hero Killer still standing in place, brightly-colored paint dribbling off the melted remains of his armor. As the rest of it slipped off, it became apparent what the fearsome mercenary's mechanical armor had been made of.


"Darn you, stop judging m-" Hero Killer's angry tirade was cut short by Pidora almost casually summoning forth another wave at him, throwing him off the edge of the battlefield to be carried away by the rapid stream below.

A whirling red aura sprang up around Pidora, enshrouding her completely before clearing to show her as Kuromizu once again, back in the clothes she had brought to the camp. Before Hetsu and the others could congratulate her on her victory- and on her surprising clone move- she fell to the floor clutching her stomach in pain.

"That was amazing!" June clapped and hugged Kuromizu. This earned her a glare from her grumpy companion, who found herself unable to explain just what bothered her about all of this. For a split second, she'd even hoped that Pidora had been defeated by the mercenary's skyward blow just so that she wouldn't feel this... jealousy?

"The Pill!" Kuromizu screamed, snapping Kuwagirl back to reality, "I need a bathroom!"

"Hmm, that's right." Hetsu scratched his chin, feeling better now he'd caught his breath "The Water Pill's side-effect increases the amount of fluids going into one's bladder, so the user needs to let it all out right afterwards... We've gotta hurry back to camp then, we don't want a landslide or something blocking our way back or-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD HETSU" Kuromizu glared at him, the pressures from her bladder preventing her finding any humour in the situation. Hetsu could only take a deep breath, startled by Kuromizu's outburst.

"What are you guys waiting for?" June chimed in, surprisingly tried taking control of the situation. "We should be on our way now! Kawagal, we need to hurry! Come on!"

Kuwagirl tried to ignore that her best friend flat-out said her nickname wrong. Keeping her levelheadedness, she tried pointing out a solution to Kuromizu's sudden problem:

"June, there's a porta-potty right ar-"

"There's no time for beetle exploration! We need to get her back to camp!"


"Not! Helping!" June, emphasized, glaring straight into Kuwagirl's eyes in disapproval.

"Alright," Hetsu said, "June's right, let's get moving. I'll go call Angle, he might know what to do."

Defeated, Kuwagirl turned away with her arms crossed, grumbling in embarrassment. Spitefully, she now found herself hoping for Pidora wouldn't hold on long enough. And in that moment, somehow hoping that a girl would have an accident before her very eyes, she would have been consumed in self-loathing had she known how similar a thought a certain freak had that same day...


"Yes, yes, get wet!"

The Fallen Angle had found a perfect spot to rest. A little clearing by the stream, shielded from the sun and prying eyes by cliffs overhead. He was enjoying a certain private video on his phone and, to enhance the experience, pouring water over his head from a bottle he had within arm's reach every time one of the girls in the video 'got wet'.

However, his happiness was shortly interrupted when he saw Hetsu's name flash on his phone's screen...


Two minutes later through the road, the group of four found that the camp was further away than they'd thought. Hetsu had managed to get through to Angle, but had hung up without a word moments later. Far from hearing any words of advice, he feared he'd heard things he wouldn't be able to un-hear. Meanwhile, Kuromizu continued hobbling along, doubled over in pain.

"That's it! I can't take it anymore!" Kuromizu screamed. She turned to the rest of the group, not looking them in the eyes. "...has anyone got a bottle?"

"I have one, but-" June said, producing an empty water bottle that was promptly ripped away from her hand by Kuromizu. The famed magical girl and defender of truth and justice shot off like a bolt of lightning into the bushes.

After what might as well have been a full minute of silence and awkward stares between the Yamaguchi siblings (while Kuwagirl settled for crossing her arms and pretending not to care), Kuromizu returned emptyhanded, looking perfectly fine.

"Problem solved!" she flashed a victory sign to the group.

"Why did you need the bottle? It was empty and if it had water you had to pee anyway!" June said, once again demonstrating an inability to put two and two together.

"Sorry June, I dropped it and fell off a cliff."


The Fallen Angle, meanwhile, hadn't moved. He was still busy entertaining himself with videos of 'wet girls', dousing himself with water from the bottle at his side every few minutes. His headphones, while providing a fully immersive experience, stopped him noticing the arrival of a second bottle that rolled to his side from above. Once the girl in his video got a soaking from another 'wet girl', Angle reached out without looking, grabbing the new bottle and emptying its sparkling, golden contents all over his head and chest.


On their way down to camp, the group had to endure June's long lecture about polluting the environment and leaving water bottles out there in the wilderness. Kuwagirl seemed to have no snarky comments this time, seemingly busy staring at Kuromizu the whole time, wrapped up in her own feelings. Kuromizu noticed and fell back to talk to her.

"Alright, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, is there anything wrong?"

Kuromizu sighed. "I hate it when you get all passive-aggressive on me."

"You know what, don't worry about it." Kuwagirl tried to let her head cool, deciding that it wasn't worth getting worked up at her friend over something that wasn't her fault. "It's just been kind of a long day."

"Well, now that Hero Killer's gone, we can get back to camping and-"

"Where do YOU think you are going?" an all-too familiar voice interrupted Kuromizu atop one of the cliffs. It was none other than Hero Killer, nigh unrecognizable as the last shreds of his custom cardboard armor had been completely obliterated by the stream. The mercenary's bulk, it turned out, had been less to do with his armor and more that Hero Killer himself was quite plump. What was more, most of his skin was exposed, his face and shoulders already turning bright lobster-red under the sun. Water dripped from his sodden clothing, forming a sad puddle at his feet.

"I demand a rematch, Kuromizu!" he demanded proudly, answered by a chorus of sniggers from Kuromizu's company. Even June, usually the last to want to mock anyone, found the remains of his costume too silly to take the assassin seriously. Still, Kuromizu wanted this to be over with, so she once again stepped ahead to take on Hero Killer's challenge and morphed into Magical Girl Pidora.

"There's no water around here, you won't defeat me. For the peace of this world, I will end you!" Hero Killer drew out his blades, ready to jump down at Pidora, who merely smirked at him and swallowed another pill.

Sparks jumped from Pidora's aura, coalescing into a blindingly bright whip in her hands. "Zap Pill! Electro Whip!" The whip seemed to thrash and jump with a life of its own, and with a flick of her wrist, Pidora sent it cracking towards Hero Killer. Since the mercenary was dripping wet, the attack was incredibly effective and he fell to the ground, twitching and steaming.

"That was... anticlimatic," Hetsu commented. June stood there in silence. Kuwagirl's phone made a cheery bleep as she stopped the recording and set it to upload. "Hashtag barbecue."

"Well then, Mr. Slayer of Heroes, looks like you were done pretty quick." As she spoke, Pidora's electric aura flared up again, sparks dancing around a few strands of her hair that stood on end.

"Mark my words," Hero Killer defiantly stared at Pidora, "The Pure Body Army will come back to avenge me... Master Grim will ensure that your punishment is most severe. Rwocca will rule AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Hetsu and June covered their eyes politely as Hero Killer was electrocuted violently by Pidora's high voltage Electro Whip. Kuwagirl put a filter on the recording so the bright electrical flashes wouldn't wash out the color. The name 'Pure Body Army' rang a bell to Kuwagirl, but she didn't give it much thought for now.

With a final flicker of light, Pidora's aura died away, a few stray sparks grounding themselves as she transformed back into Kuromizu. June made to pat her friend on the back, but snatched her hand away as if stung.


Kuromizu's head twitched around, eyes wide as if she had been up all night drinking coffee. "SORRYABOUTTHATTHEREMUSTSTILLBESOMESTATICELECTRICITY"

Hetsu nodded sagely. "The side effects of the Zap Pill. The user's nervous system is flooded with the excess-"


"-electrical energy, resulting in hyperactive..."

He trailed off into silence, noticing that he was alone in the forest. Off in the distance, he could hear someone crashing through the trees chattering to herself nonstop, followed by screams of "Slow down!" and "The camp's back that way!"

This was the last time, Hetsu Burrito decided as he began his second unwelcome jog of the day, that he would ever be coaxed into leaving the house.


Sirens blared around the campsite as the Fallen Angle was led to one of the police cars, with hands cuffed behind his back and his head drenched in something that made the policeman beside him wrinkle his nose in disgust. The students had long since been returned home once the authorities had located the missing bus.

Kuromizu and her group arrived in the nick of time just to see Angle being put in the police car and being taken away for whatever trial he was going to have. Despite Angle's arrest doing a lot to restore Kuwagirl's good mood, the friends were left with one significant problem.

"Well, now how do we get back home?" Kuwagirl sighed, "I mean, I guess we could call a cab, but it'll cost a fortune to get back from the boonies."

"IDONTHAVEHAVEMONEYWHATDOWEDO," Kuromizu tried to make herself understood, but only just succeeded in not biting her tongue.

"Don't worry," Hetsu smirked, fishing around in his pocket before producing a bulging wallet. "Money's no object."

"Where did you get that?" June asked her brother. After a moment, Kuwagirl sniggered, recognizing the wallet as the faint sound of a mariachi band played in her head.

Hetsu ran his thumb over the absurdly-ornate spider emblem etched into the leather and winked.

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